Quest I: Youthful Spirits

The group quickly agreed that Toby would carry Rose to Brandyburg, to obtain a bottle of the Water of Youth.

“We’ll leave in a couple of hours,” Toby suggested, “the thermals are better after the sun has had time to warm the earth. So yes, Rose, you have plenty of time for breakfast. No offense to the chef, though, but tofu doesn’t really stoke my fires; I think I can smell sausages roasting in the village market. I have better make sure they do not overcook.” She lifted off, made a lazy circle for attitude, and planed down towards Bupleurum Village.

“Yes, a lovely breakfast, thank you, Bunnysweet” said the Queen. “No, I couldn’t eat another bite... well yes, perhaps another cup of that exquisite hot chocolate...” Bunnysweet darted away with a rabbity twitch and giggle, and moments later returned to refill the Queen’s cup.

“We’ve got mail,” Polly observed, as several more pigeons swooped in. “This one’s for you, Your Majesty.”

“Thank you for lending us a bird-person to teach my staff at Briar how to use the p-mail,” the Queen replied. “And I am sorry about the first messenger that Rose sent me – I suppose somebody just grabbed it and wrung its neck. But obviously Timoral understands now; this is from him.” She read it, and frowned. “The King’s no better. He’s lying in bed, can’t talk, can’t use his right hand, can hardly swallow. His physician’s in a terrible temper – seems to think if he shouts loudly enough nobody will notice how incompetent he is. The courtiers are demanding that I be found and dragged back to care for him. Timoral suggests that if I’m safe where I am, I should stay there. He and the housekeeper are keeping the staff organized. They are in touch with the Über Celestia Guard.; the Briar staff who want to go out are taking turns. Some of them are being offered jobs; some of them are accepting.

“That’s good,” she said, half to herself. “We have twice or three times as many servants as we need, and the seneschal keeps hiring more to think up work for the ones who are standing around with nothing to do. If half of them go, or two-thirds... too bad the courtiers are likely to stay...”

The Queen noticed a long morning shadow approaching the breakfast area and looked up, then sighed, “oh-oh, it seems our royal cousins have found us.”

“There you are!” cried an accusing voice, “completely irresponsible as usual, enjoying yourself without a thought for our dire plight!”

“Good morning, Countess,” the Queen replied. “Isn’t the Spa lovely? It shows what you can do with the most unlikely place, with hard work and imagination. I shouldn’t keep striking out at that raven, if I were you.”

“We have been usurped!” the Countess cried angrily. “Usurped, and all you can do is worry about a stupid animal?! They’ve taken our lovely castle, and they pretend it’s theirs! And they’ve done something to the Count – he’s just sitting in his chair and not saying a thing. You’re in league with them, you don’t care what wickedness they’ve done. They are nothing but rabbits, rabbits and nature spirits and talking birds! We never allowed such trash in the County! It’s all your fault, you and the stupid peasant curse on your stupid half-peasant daughter. If you had the slightest bit of decency you’d be home in Briar Castle, taking care of our poor cousin the King, but here you are, taking your ease, as though you hadn’t a care in the world.”

“Quiet, Rose,” the Queen advised calmly, “she’s not worth getting upset about. Bunnysweet, could you call security? that’s a dear.”

Security arrived quickly, in the form of thornbush dryads, in their most thorny aspects. The Countess and her ladies blustered a bit more, but soon realized that they would lose if they contineud to attempt prickly exchanges. They quieted reluctantly and were ushered away.

“Sargent Thorn here, Ma’am. Sorry about that. They won’t bother you again.”

“Thank you, Sargent. I appreciate that. What I am most worried about is the old people being disturbed, Uncle Ernie and Aunt Lilly. If you could keep an eye out for them, I would be most grateful.”

“Of course, Ma’am, I’ll see to it myself.”

Moments later, Toby coasted in, smelling of sausages and licking her whiskers. She bent a foreleg for Rose and Minsky to climb, and waited while they found secure perches on her shoulders. She ran a few steps, lifted into a thermal, and soared away.

The roiling form of the time-twister manifested, and reached for the dragon. Apparently it didn’t understand thermals; what the dragon had ridden, the time-storm fell into, was churned about by, and was finally dumped unceremoniously by, into a plowed field. When it succeeded in gathering itself up again, it was noticeably darker and grittier.

Towards evening Toby was sighted returning to Bupleurum. She landed with a tired thump and nodded at the eagerly waiting group. “Time-twister’s grown, and more aggressive. I had to detour on the way back, had to flame it. Twice. I’m thirsty. Hungry. Tired.”

Rose and Minsky slipped happily to the ground. Rose’s knees were weak, and her usually radiant complexion was slightly green. She gulped with relief and said, “Toby was dodging that thing all the way back, she must have flown twice as far... and, it seemed, twice as fast.”

“We have a fresh shipment of the lovely light spirit we burn in our lamps,” offered Bunnysweet, “and a new tank of extra virgin olive oil, just arrived yesterday. May we make you a cocktail? With rosemary and thyme, and a litre or so of those tiny red peppers? It will just take a moment.”

Toby gulped down the first barrel, drank the second, sipped the third, and promptly curled up and went to sleep.

“I never saw a dragon looking so relaxed before,” said Polly.

“And I never heard one snoring so loudly before, either” said MacLaren, “and I’d be quite happy not to hear the likes again, either.”

“Tell us how it went, Rose,” said Broad.

“We arrived in Brandyburg safely, and found the emporium where they sell the spirits,” Rose began. “They had ever so many lovely bottles and flasks. They offered to let us sample lots of different ones, but Minsky said no thanks, and we didn’t. They kept trying to sell us what they claimed were the most marvellous vintages, but Minsky kept saying no. When I said that we needed the real Water of Youth, they called the Silenus. At first he tried to put us off, said their ad was just supposed to be amusing and evocative, that no adult would really believe that even the best brandy could make you young again.

“So Toby started talking about a new local by-law about something called ‘truth in advertising,’ which I guess is a specially expensive and strange kind of truth, because the Silenus protested a lot, and kept trying to make objections or patronize me or change the subject. But Toby was too clever for him; she kept going back to the same argument about the new law. And finally, when he saw that we would not budge, he named a really high price. Of course, then Toby pulled out a copy of their ad, that had a much lower price on it and the argument started all over again.

“Finally he brought out the bottle – see, isn’t it beautiful? – and set it down in front of us. It must be hard work selling spirits in an emporium; he was really sweating. Then he told us that there are conditions. ‘For the Water of Youth to work, you have to wear a special ring, Suleiman’s ring, while you are drinking it. And you have to drink it out of the skull of a mad god.’

“We bought it anyway, though I have no idea how we will fulfill the conditions. Toby’s firm has an account there; we charged it to that. But now we have to find the ring and the skull.”

“Skull easy is,” said Minsky, “get skull tomorrow, from Thunderhall. If Toby not too... tired... to fly.”