Random Fragments 03

Toby was quite certain that she would always remember the conclusion of her experience on Sealokanth. Opposing counsel's malign interference, and intent to defraud her client had been clear at the end. During her stay, she had heard mutterings in the legal community over their general discontent at her speeding what would usually be several years of negotiation into weeks. Apparently opposing counsel believed he had found a suitable revenge.

Its oleaginous countenance spoke as clearly as the finest parchment of its intent not to refund the previous cash payment, merely because it had now received duplicate funds in appropriately abstruse certificate form. Toby remembered swallowing her anger as opposing counsel examined the certificates with insulting thoroughness.

"These seem to be in order. I suppose that all things considered my client would be satisfied to take these and consider the Contract fulfilled." Its voice dripped with condescension and magnanimity as it offered to accept a contract - already, in Toby's mind at least, fulfilled - for a mere extra seventeen percent fee.
Toby had smiled, baring as many teeth as she could, and paused ... considering whether the immediate satisfaction of immolating opposing counsel, its offices, and a large part of the surrounding planet, was worth the multiversal scandal, the opprobrium of the senior Afters, the ridiculous amount of paperwork the Law Society would require of her as explanation, and the eventual possibility of disbarment.
Several minutes had passed as Toby wrestled with her rage. Opposing counsel, watching the frozen rictus of her grin, had backed all the way across the room by the time she opened her eyes and sighed ... without flame. "Your bank is only a few moments away, is that not correct?" she had asked.

Barely pausing for his affirmative, she continued, "We will go there NOW. And you will sign all necessary documents to complete this transaction. Your banker can witness ... I trust the money handlers here have better memories for their oaths of office than the legal profession. Or, perhaps, merely swear better oaths to begin with."

Opposing counsel, perhaps realizing the fragile grip that Toby was keeping on her draconic fury, had been quiet and, almost, chastened in mien, as he followed Toby to the bank. The signing had proceeded with – for Sealohs – unusual haste, and mere hours later Toby, gripping the bundle of contracts signed, sealed, and sweated upon, returned to her client.

As is The Way of Clients, it had expected both her return and her eventual success, so there were no fanfares or fireworks awaiting her arrival. The client accepted the Contract with equanimity, and a muttered "it's about time" that – had Toby not been well versed in The Way – would have resulted in a large local firestorm. Instead, and with a bare minimum of grinding of molars, Toby had merely reminded it that the premium for early completion was to be paid to the same account as the retainer. Final calculations of fees and disbursements would be up to Happy and her accounting team – Toby had completed the tasks she had been retained for, and was leaving.

Winging her way back to Uber Celestia, Toby did her own final calculations. On the minus side, there was no way that Happy could include the double charge as a disbursement and pass the expense on to the client. It would have to be considered a cost of doing business ... or, as Happy was likely to characterize it, a cost of Toby's ongoing education. On the plus side, her part of the fee for the job would cover the extra expenditure of the double charge ... a good thing as Happy would be likely to want to take it out of her salary.

The firm had been discussing adding Sealokanth to the list of interdicted planets – places where, in the opinion of Happy, Ever & After, doing business was either too dangerous (few and far between) or not cost effective (more common, especially since Happy joined the firm). Toby's vote might not count as much as the other partners' in some areas, but she was reasonably certain that her report on the Sealohs would tip their balance into interdiction. Not, perhaps, as satisfying as burning the entire planet down to the topsoil, but, in the long run, almost as good a revenge. Areas on the HEA interdiction list tended to become pariah to the rest of the civilized multiverse.

***

A mighty sneeze, caught at the last second and channelled out the window, interrupted Toby's concentration. Perhaps the somewhat blobby Sealohs were not the best subject of contemplation when Toby herself felt as though she was gradually losing the battle against an onrushing mucus storm. The flames in dragon sneezes are generally enough to render them non-contagious – dangerously hot, but not likely to pass on virii, which was a good thing considering that a handkerchief strong enough to deal with dragon sneezes had not yet been invented. This cold, however, didn't seem to understand that it wasn't supposed to generate snot faster than Toby's flames could incinerate it.

Toby could hear her hoard calling. A nap, just until the next scheduled or unscheduled emergency, would help her feel better. She scribbled a quick note asking Clatter, her secretary (and Ever's spy), not to allow interruptions or eruptions for the next few hours, and then staggered up to bed.

***

Bremen Songs

Several hours later, Toby awoke coughing. Once the spasm was under control, she realized that someone was calling her name from downstairs. Pleasantly surprised not to be being woken up by either a mad axe-waving dwarf or an attitudinal poltergeist, Toby unwound from her hoard and ... trying not to jar her aching head ... struggled downstairs.

Blue was sitting in one of her visitor's chairs, looking somewhat abashed to have had to disturb Toby's rest. "Ever asked the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Sentient Non-Dominant Species to second me to HEA for a couple of days to help with your newest clients. He figured you would need a translator, and since we've worked together before, he thought I wouldn't have any issues with dealing with dragons."

"I hope he thought right, you were a great help with the Blind Mice case – and most of my cases don't end so ... dangerously."

"Of course he was right, Toby, working with you was great – except for the bit where you almost died – but I do have a problem, with the clients, not with you."

"A problem with the clients? I have not had a chance to review their intake interview yet, but I thought I caught something about them being musicians?" Toby was glad that her blush would not be visible through her scales, she knew well that she had several chances to review the file, but paperwork was always at the bottom of her priority list.

"I would not know if they have musical skills, and, really, it's not that I have a problem with them, it's that they have a problem with me. I was giving them the office tour, the same one that Ever gave me when I arrived, and they got mad at me. Chauncey started braying that I was demeaning them, that they had struggled to get this far, and that they did not need a ... um, it's not really important what he called me, let me just say that he made it abundantly clear that none of them wanted a human translator."

"They insulted you? I'll have a word with Ever, they can hire Raven Ravyn and Rayvn if they want – but Happy, Ever & After does not tolerate clients being rude to our staff. To us, perhaps, but not to our employees. You work hard enough as it is, without having to put up with clients in a snit." Toby was on her feet, and starting to fume at this point, only the shock on Blue's face slowed down what would otherwise have been a headlong charge to Ever's office.

"Toby, no. Chauncey, Mytchell, Tibbeth, and Hepzibah need a lawyer, a good lawyer. And, maybe, they have a point about not needing a translator. Chauncey was partly right, they have overcome some pretty high odds to get this far. I think you can help them, I just wanted you to understand why I was going to ask Ever to cut the contract short. I know a bit about office politics – we're not all saints at the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Sentient Non-Dominant Species (and even Francis has his cranky days). I would have felt bad if it got back to you twisted to sound as though I did not want to work with you."

"Hmph. I'll make you a deal, Blue. You sit in on our first meeting. Not as a translator, but as an expert consultant. If their story sounds like something I can handle, AND if Chauncey can apologise for insulting our local expert, I'll take their case. And if I do take their case, then it's up to me to decide whether or not I will need your assistance. Sound fair?"

Blue suspected she would need to think about this meeting later – Toby's passionate defence seemed almost out of character – sure Toby was passionate about helping her clients, but this was a bit much for just a colleague. Those thoughts, however, could wait. The clients expected Toby to be ready to see them, and, if taking Toby's deal was the way to make that happen, then Blue would just have to figure this out later.

"Something tells me that I should not be taking a lawyer's deal without consulting my own counsel, Toby." Blue smiled to show she had not been serious. "But this deal sounds fair, and I trust you to do what's best for your clients in the end."

***

As a partner, albeit a very junior one, Toby had access to all of the staff of HEA. Figuring that these clients ... whatever their issue ... needed to be impressed a bit, she suggested that the Majordomo be the one to bring them to her office, and asked him to take the long way around so that she could do a quick clean up.
Her desk was reasonably neat, she'd taken care to put away open files when she started sneezing. For a change, and in the honour of the unpredictability of a head cold, she'd even moved the piles that usually littered her floor into the fireproof filing cabinet that she almost never used. Toby's motto on filing had always been "out of sight, out of mind" and she counted on the piles reminding her what needed her attention.

Shuffling a small stack of novels onto a top shelf where they would be hidden by the law books was a moment's work. Not that she had anything to be ashamed of – given the nature of the multiverse, Mr. Nix and Ms. Pierce were likely creating worlds that at some point Toby might be called to work in. It wasn't time wasting, it was research! Or, at least, that's what she was prepared to tell her senior partners if they ever found out about her addiction.

Finally, the only thing in her office that didn't look its best was her. A moment in her fire closet nicely fixed the spines bent from restless sleep and whiskers disarrayed by sneezes. Unfortunately nothing but a week's rest would clear up the full ravages of the cold. Perhaps she could look on the bright side and try to believe that the pouches under her eyes merely made her look older and more distinguished. Unfortunately her mirror did not have any inclination to flatter, and the bright side was left severely tarnished by the quick glance she gave its reflective surface.

***

Toby had placed a comfortable armchair in one corner of her office for me. I was out of the direct light falling through her windows, and as well hidden as I could be in plain sight. I found myself enjoying watching her scurry about making sure everything was ready for her clients. It was a side of Toby I had not seen before. In front of clients, or Courts, she exudes confidence. It was fascinating to see the side of her that matches her age, young and concerned with making the proper first impression.

Most of that uncertainty disappeared when she returned from her fire closet. I understood the theory – a room with heat reflecting walls where a dragon could bake in her own flame, burning off dirt and refreshing herself. Yet still the theory seemed strange, to go to flame rather than water for cleanliness. Watching Toby emerge, though, it all became irrelevant. Somehow the fire had burnished her scales, straightened her spines and neatened her whiskers. The somewhat bedraggled dragon who had left the room had been replaced by magnificence.

I was glad for the slight shadow that covered my corner. I doubted the heat flushing my face had anything to do with stray radiation from the fire closet, I'm not sure where that image of Toby was coming from, but it left me blushing.
A brusque rap on the door, saved me from Toby's attention. She curled neatly behind her desk, flashed me a quick smile and nod – as if to say "the show starts now!" – and called for the Majordomo to enter.

I'd never seen the Majordomo before, and I instantly understood why Toby had asked for him to guide the clients. He was one of the biggest humanoids I'd ever seen, so tall he had to duck to enter through Toby's dragon sized front door. He looked as though he might have sat as an artist's model for Hercules when he was younger. Now, older and balding, he was the very image of the type of butler who could manage household staff – and international criminal rings – without ruffling a hair.

His bow to Toby was the essence of correctness, for a bow between equals who – for a brief moment – are pretending to a master/servant relationship. Seeing his command of body language, I was reassured that the new clients would have found him an educational, and understanding, guide.

Chauncey entered first, with Mytchell close on his heels. Tibbeth paused a moment on the threshold to look around, then sauntered in, making it clear that her entrance was entirely her idea. I was surprise that Hepzibah chose to strut in behind Tibbeth rather than riding in, but perhaps that was part of their own posturing for the event.