Random Fragments 04

Nano freaking Wrimo, Toby grumbled to herself. In between being sick, new clients, and whatever that strange thing that seemed to be going on with Blue might be, Toby knew she was behind. Yes, Chauncey and his friends would make an interesting chapter or two, but that would require a bit of research. Research that Toby was not willing to do at the moment. What, she wondered, could she write about without any research... Childhood was an option, this was, after all, supposed to be a memoir.
What could she write about her childhood? There were pranks and adventures in plenty. It would make for some interesting stories. At least her friends found them interesting. The After might not consider them in quite the same light. Toby quickly realized that unless she was willing to do quite a bit of research into the statute of limitations on several planes, as well as the statute of limitations in parenting – Was there one? – her childhood would have to remain, for now at least, a closed book.
So, if she wasn’t willing to delve into her childhood, and really did not want to think about her current life until she had had a chance to figure out what on earths she was doing, then really, the only things left to talk about were her schooling and her ancestors.
School did have some interesting moments. Law school in particular. Toby had once described it as a combination between the movie the Paper Chase and the book the Lord of the Flies. but there ought to be a few incidents worth telling – and not requiring a lawyer’s advice before she committed them to paper.
***
The Old man had been disappointed when Toby announced her choice of Law Schools. Harvard, Oxford, Yale and Cambridge all had campuses in many planes. Everyone who was anyone knew about those schools and respected their graduates. The only people who knew of Toby’s choice were it’s own graduates ... and most of them were disgusted enough to call it U of Zero. Afters didn’t even accept honourary degrees from places that small and inconsequential. It wasn’t until Toby pointed out her rather undistinguished placing on her undergraduate degree, and mentioned plausible deniability and the possibility of doing a Masters degree afterwards somewhere more prestigious if she could prove herself at that institution, that the Old man relented.
Toby’s mother had merely pointed out that Kami’s are all home schooled before drifting off beyond earshot of the argument. That was often her way, Toby recognized. Toby could divide her childhood and adolescence into two distinct parts ... one full of arguments, fireworks, and the Old Man – the other full of peace, calm, love, and her mother. Looked at that way, her mother’s recent absences were more remarkable for having taken so long to start than for, seemingly, having no end.
Parental permissions or abstentions registered (and parental contributions towards fees pocketed, of course), Toby headed off to university.
The first few weeks flew past in a blur of events. Speeches from various interest groups in the school – including, Toby was happy to see, a group for dragons, and their friends – then the school brought in speakers – graduates who had accomplished noteworthy successes – to recount the variety of ways that law is an essential part of the structure of the multiverses. Then classes started. The reality of school, a dour place far more interested in hammering names and dates into the heads of students than actually encouraging them to think, was a nasty surprise after the exuberance and ideas of the first introduction weeks. By midterm, Toby’s grades were floundering like a fledgeling whose wings had iced over. She had hoped to do better in Law school, but no matter how she tried, she just didn’t seem to be able to do as well as she thought she ought. The ignominy of being the first After not called to the Bar since ... well, since the Law was invented.. left Toby willing to clutch at straws. Overhearing a group of other students discussion a Bruja who had set up shop on campus and who was dong a rip roaring business in charms and curses, Toby thought to visit, just in case her abysmal accomplishments at school were the result of some sort of ancestral curse that no one had thought to mention to her.
The Bruja was easy enough to find, just follow the distinctively chicken like foot prints cut deep into the snow, at the end of the tracks, either a 5000 pound chicken or the hut of the witch. Nothing as exciting as a five thousand pound chicken had ever occurred to the campus of U of Zero, so the Bruja’s home was where Toby tracked it down.
The Bruja seemed quite unsurprised to see Toby at her door, and calmly invited the dragon inside. The university shunned magic, so Toby was quite pleased to find that the kitchen of the Bruja’s home was large enough to contain a dragon, a human, and a pride of domestic felines. All this despite the outside of the entire house looking too small to contain more than Toby’s head. A reasonably sophisticated space spell indicated that the woman was more than just a hedge witch. After a brief bustle around that resulted in Toby clutching a dragon sized cup of hot cocoa, and the table being set with a platter containing a mix of dragon and human sized cookies, the Bruja asked, “I could guess what brings you here, but what you need may not be what you think you want, so why don’t you tell me?”
“I want to know whether I, or my family, are under a curse?”
“Curses aplenty, I would expect. You can’t be lawyers and judges without that. But I can check to see whether any of them are active and powerful enough to manifest, if you wish.”
“Yes, Yes I would very much appreciate that.”
“Hmm... Alright, I can sell you what you want for 60 gold, for what you need, that would be 200 – and I’ll throw in what you want with that for fee.”
Toby looked around in thought. Yes, the Bruja was clearly reasonably powerful ... or knew someone powerful to buy her home spells from ... Yes, the cats had seemingly randomly arrayed themselves in a pattern of glyphs that read “What you need” in ancient draconic. And yes, all of her reading of myths and folklore suggested that she follow their suggestion and get what she needed. The only drawback? She didn’t have two hundred gold to her name this late in the term, but perhaps there was a way, if only... “Wise one, knowing as much as you do, you almost certainly know that your price is beyond my current means. But you also know that I am a dragon of the After dragons. I can offer you scale oath, and that will be as good as gold anywhere in the multiverse that Afters are recognized. ”
“A scale oath? with what terms?”
“Redeemable from any after for four hundred gold, or a favour worth one thousand gold as officiated by the evaluator on Market Prime, as long as said favour does not contravene any official oath regarding conduct or mores that the After inn question has sworn.”
“Hmm. Yes, that sounds suitable. We can do business on those terms.”
Toby grimaced and picking a scale on one forearm, tugged it off. She handed it to the Bruja, who held it up to the light. Super imposed on the scale pattern that was unique to each dragon were the words of the oath, etched by will into the scale.
The Bruja carefully tucked the scale into a pocket that disappeared as soon as she had filled it. She gathered one of the cats – a fluffy tortoiseshell – into her arms and took her seat at the kitchen table. She sat stroking the cat and muttering softly to it in a language Toby didn’t recognise. Then the cat got up and walked over the table to Toby’s arm. Prrrting a polite request to be allowed to climb, the cat stepped onto Toby’s arm and began to climb over her, stopping in odd spots to sniff thoroughly, and, occasionally sneeze. Finally the cat seemed to be done, and it jumped to the ground , walked over to the Bruja, and jumped back into her lap. The tow of them resumed conversation, until, after a few moments, the Bruja spoke. “As I suspected, your line attracts curses. It also attracts those who can take care of themselves and their families. All of the curses upon you are either magically frozen and gradually dissipating, or Kismetically rewinding and soon to rebound on their casters ... in some cases threefold ... nasty, that.”
Toby chuffed with surprise, managing to turn her head at the last minute so that the small cloud of smoke was exhaled over the stove where it could flow out the chimney.
“So, that’s what you wanted to know. Are you satisfied with that portion of our agreement?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Good. Now for what you really need. I could just give you a potion, suggest proper dosage routines, and charge you again each time you needed a refill, however, the cats tell me that I owe you better than that. To do this properly, I will need to step into another room for a moment, please, enjoy the cookies, I shall be back shortly.”
Toby had just finished the chocolate chip, and was reaching for a cookie that smelled deliciously gingery, when the Bruja returned. She had draped a clean white knee-length cotton jacket over her clothes, clipped a stethoscope around her neck and was carrying a medium sized black doctor’s bag in one hand and a couple of lollipops in the other.
Raising one eyebrow in surprise, Toby watched as the Bruja – Doctor Bruja, now, apparently – set the lollipops on the table, sat down and began rooting through her bag. It too was clearly bigger on the inside than on the outside as Toby saw a rather modern looking operating room in one corner of the bag and watched the Doctor Bruja pull out and replace implements ranging from a chainsaw to an electron scanning microscope before she found – and placed on the table – a prescription pad, fax machine and a pen.
“As I said, Toby, there are several ways of doing this, but we both know that this is a mundane little town, mostly full of banal little people. Magic and miracles upset them, and you will need to live with them for two and a half more years to complete your degree. So, a prescription pad, very official looking, and the Physician license number, name and contact information are all registered in all the proper places. My handwriting is the handwriting they expect, and my signature is the signature they have authorized. What could be more mundane than that?”
“Umm...” Toby ventured.
“Wait now, oh impatient one. I will be explaining.” She paused to write something, sign the pad floridly, tear the sheet off and place it near Toby. “That one is for you to take to the drug store, don’t bother trying to read it, just like the other doctors, I write in cypher that only pharmacists can read. This one,” she fell silent as she wrote a slightly longer paragraph on the next sheet, tapped the fax machine twice, and fed the sheet through it.
The fax machine responded to the Doctor Bruja’s taps by turning on – despite not being plugged into any visible power source – found a dial tone – no visible phone source either – sent the fax and happily spit out the original sheet and a confirmation of receipt. Toby’s other eyebrow crept up to join its fellow. She contemplated saying something, but figured she wouldn’t get much past “Umm,” and, why bother interrupting such an interesting show.
“There, all done. Now I explain. You came because you are having troubles with school. You thought maybe a curse, I know not a curse at all. Some people see very well, others need glasses, even sometimes for their third eye. Some people fly between planes, others need spells or devices. Brains are different like that too. Some brains absorb information and can repeat it back word for word after only being exposed to it once. Other brains, sadly, will not absorb information no matter how many times you repeat it. Your brain – like most – is in between the extremes. It is very good at absorbing information, but it is only properly exposed to that information if you are paying attention – and you are not all that good at paying attention to things that are neither predator nor prey.
“The prescription is for attention pills. They should make it easier for you to focus on text books – even though they are neither dangerous nor good to eat. The letter will arrive at the university’s medical centre, it is a referral to a brain doctor there. She is not a Bruja – but she still knows a little bit about a few important things. She will be able to help you figure out ways to get your brain to do what you want it to, and, since she works for the university, you will not need to pay good gold for her advice.”
During the explanation, Toby’s eyebrows had gradually returned to their normal position, then deepened into a frown as the Bruja spoke of brain doctors.
“The Old Man would not approve of me going to a brain doctor, he thinks...”
“It doesn’t matter what he thinks,” the Bruja interrupted, “he is only your father, and you are of an age where you are supposed to be starting to think for yourself. The doctors here have rules about the information they learn about patients. They cannot and will not tell anyone – including your family – about you without your permission.”
“Oh. I will have to think about this. It is a lot to grasp at once.”
The Doctor Bruja handed Toby one of the lollipops, then swept the others, along with the fax machine and prescription pad, into her bag. She stood and gave Toby a semi-formal farewell bow. “Indeed you have much to think on, and, fortunately, you have time to do so. I must change, as my next client approaches. Feel free to take your time with the rest of your hot chocolate, the cats will see you out, and my front door will not lead a client into a space that is already occupied – besides, I think this one will want something a little bit more cave-like, with bats.”
The Bruja left. Toby shrugged, then sat back and ate the ginger cookie with the last of her hot chocolate. Only after she had licked the last froth from her mug, and cleaned up the last cookie crumb, did she stand, stretch, and follow the large black and white cat that lead her to the door.
***
Toby filled the Bruja’s prescription and was pleased, and only slightly surprised, to find that it worked. Where before her class notes often trailed off into doodles or lines that lead nowhere, with the medication she kept on track, and managed to draw meaning from even the most wandering of lectures. That success gave her courage to contact the university medical centre.
The centre had noted the referral letter from a Doctor B. Ruha M.D., Ph.D., Et.C., and staff were happy to set up an appointment for her with one of their preeminent psychologists.
Unfortunately, their preeminent psychologist didn’t have anywhere near as much sense as even one of the Bruja’s cat’s day-old hair balls. Toby realized quite quickly that the only reason to keep appointments was to continue getting prescriptions, and, once the psychologist realized that Toby was not going to permit him to write up her case, he agreed to continue to do so.
***